Welcome Letter

Golden Rules for the Rebel COUPLE

documentary wedding photographer

Dear Rebels in love,

Welcome! I write this letter to help make your wedding planning—and your wedding day—as fun and breezy as possible. I’ve learned a lot of this stuff the hard way: from my years as a wedding photographer and, most recently, as a rule-breaking bride myself! But you gotta know the rules in order to break (or cherry pick) the rules, and that’s what I want to encourage you to do!
I’m here to help you plan the wedding that most suits you.

Hence my ‘Golden Rules for the Rebel Couple’! Here they are:

Rule #1: Your wedding, your way.

To be clear: I’m not encouraging you to abandon your loving wedding guests in a cloud of fumes as you wheelie off into the sunset…unless that’s exactly what your dream wedding looks like!

But every pair of lovebirds has been told, when they get engaged, “Do what you want! After all, it’s your wedding day!”

How quickly that lovely blessing can unravel into a heap of requests and expectations. Gah!

Weddings can be a lot of things, good and bad; when you start making concessions for everyone else, you risk letting the bad outweigh the good. And that’s a slippery slope.

This is a photo from my own wedding, with eight of our closest friends, on a beach in Tofino. Photo by Kristen Marie Parker

This is a photo from my own wedding, with eight of our closest friends, on a beach in Tofino. Photo by Kristen Marie Parker


Rule #2: Eff tradition for the sake of tradition.

Ideally you only get one shot at your wedding. Instead of worrying about all the stuff you need to do to make sure everyone’s happy, ask yourselves: “If we could design our wedding day any way we wanted, what would it look like?”

If you love tradition, then great! You have a solid template to work from when planning your wedding day. But there are so many nuptial / cultural / family traditions, and for most modern couples abiding by them all means too many rules to follow on a day that’s supposed to be just for you.

Whatever your favourite things are, just for fun, imagine incorporating them into your wedding day. What does that look like?
Your wedding is an opportunity to create a unique and wonderful experience for you and your guests, whether that’s two people or two hundred, so let your imagination run free!

mountain biking wedding

Rule #3: Go team!

As your wedding photographer I’m here to help those creative dreams become reality! From the early consultations where no limits need apply, to making sure things go smoothly the day of, I’m here to help you imagine and realize your vision.

Rule #4: Be here now.

Once the day is upon us, it’s time to be present. You’ve done months of planning, and now’s the time to let the vendors do their jobs.
Your job, as the ones getting married, is to enjoy every moment and be there, in the now, together.

Whether it’s saying your vows, greeting your guests, listening to your best friend’s speech, or being in front of the camera - go with the flow and focus on connecting. Sit close to each other at dinner, embrace any big emotions that may arise, and don’t worry about your clothes getting dirty, cause they will. The day goes fast, so enjoy it!

documentary wedding photographer

Rule #5: No expectations.

As your photographer, teammate, and collaborator, I have no expectations of you during our shoots other than the previous rule: Be here now.

You are not expected to perform or be a model — on the contrary, all you need to do is be yourselves. I will direct you when needed, and let things unfold naturally otherwise. Enjoy each other and the moment you’re in and I will have everything I need to capture your love and the truth of your wedding day.

Manny _ Jordan - wedding-401.jpg

Rule #6: Go unplugged.

This is also really an extension of Rule #4, but in relation to your guests. Your vows are a big deal, not just for you two, but for the people who love you and get to witness them in the flesh. For this reason alone they should be witnessed, rather than viewed through the lens of a camera, phone or iPad. After all, that’s what I’m here for!

That’s why I recommend you let your guests know that you’re going unplugged. Put up a sign, have the officiant make an announcement, and people will listen. That way everyone can enjoy the moment, screen-free, and your photographer can capture the scene—complete with emotional faces—rather than full of phones.

unplugged wedding

Rule #7: Positive Mental Attitude

You don’t have to buy into the whole ‘Weddings are so stressful…’ schtick.
Yes, planning any event comes with it’s share of challenges, but don’t let that shadow the experience. Remember why you are doing this whole thing in the first place - because you are in love and that is a lucky place to be!

documentary wedding photographer

And them’s the golden rules, folks! From one rebel to another, congratulations on your love! I can’t wait to work with you.


My office hours are Monday thru Friday, 9am-4pm PST. I like to keep communication with my clients to email, as it helps me keep all of your info in one place and stay organized. My email is kimjayphotography@gmail.com.

You can also call me if it something pressing at, 778-679-2234. But please don’t text, as I’m not a text-er, and things fall through the cracks that way.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help!

—Kim xo

Check out more tips & Advice here